ARUBA - Ricardo, the man taking me on a driving tour of this lovely Caribbean nation whose motto is “One Happy Island”, is not happy.

SOUTHAMPTON, BERMUDA - I can get lost in a phone booth. So it came as no surprise that the Waterlot Inn where we had made dinner reservations was no where in sight.

HAMILTON, BERMUDA - Spas have come up with all sorts of gimmicks to lure men into a female-dominated world. The most effective – short of naked female therapists – has proven to be the golf massage, one of the best of which is administered at this colorful island’s pink beauty known as the Fairmont Southampton Hotel.

HAMILTON, BERMUDA - The best Christmas gift you can give yourself is a trip to Bermuda. This is one place that knows how to wrap you with a warm feeling from the time you arrive until you leave, and that’s especially true at Christmas.

HAMILTON, BERMUDA - You can tell the people who rent this island’s famed mopeds. They’re the ones with the scratches and bruises – badges of honor for many who are daring enough to rent one of the noisy little scooters.

HOPE TOWN, BAHAMAS - This may be the prettiest town you’ve never heard about. Crayon colored homes line Hope Town’s narrow roads; sleek yachts bob in its tranquil harbor; a candy-cane lighthouse stands tall amongst its small dwellings; townsfolk always make time for small talk; and the town’s lone constable is known by his first name.