AMSTERDAM - I’m such a bad ass. While passing through Passport Control at Amsterdam’s Schiphol Airport this evening, the border guard looked at me suspiciously and then informed me “we have a warrant against your name, sir.”
Within seconds, I was whisked away into an interrogation room where I was  told my crime was an “outstanding traffic traffic ticket” - from 2010!
I remember being in Holland around that time - exploring the country’s southern regions - but I was driving a Fiat 500 - the worst car I’ve ever rented, by the way - and it was hard getting that piece of junk out of first gear.
“You owe 63 euros,” said the officer with the BIG gun.
For a moment I thought about protesting my arrest. Doesn’t Holland have a statute of limitation?
I was ready to stage a hunger strike but another officer soon arrived carrying a tray of Dutch donuts and stroopwafels, those delicious wafer disks filled with caramel that will make me to confess to anything.
After paying the fine, the officer handed me a receipt which clears my name, and I was set free.
What a great ending to 2015!